The Truth Behind Perfect Instagram Photos

Social Media often creates pressure to present the most photogenic and perfect side of our personalities and our lives. Photographer Chompoo Baritone actually provided us with a look behind the scenes of those perfect little Instagram photos that we see day in and day out. He posted the polished version of her photos online and then incorporated them again in their uncropped originals. Here’s the result.

More info: More info: Facebook (h/t: ufunk)

Credit: TranquilMonkey.com

This Extraordinary Letter Will Help You Find Your Calling

In April of 1958, Hunter S. Thompson was 22 years old when he wrote a letter on the meaning and purpose of life when asked by his friend, Hume Logan, for advice. In just a few paragraphs, Thompson’s letter offers deeply thoughtful ideas, and what makes it all the more profound is the fact that at the time the world had no idea that he was about to become one of the greatest writers of the 20th century.

This letter is particularly extraordinary because the timelessness of its applicability. These words still ring true in the ears of youth and adults alike and its message is still considered among the wisest ever written. 

April 22, 1958
57 Perry Street
New York City

Dear Hume,

You ask advice: ah, what a very human and very dangerous thing to do! For to give advice to a man who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To presume to point a man to the right and ultimate goal — to point with a trembling finger in the RIGHT direction is something only a fool would take upon himself.

I am not a fool, but I respect your sincerity in asking my advice. I ask you though, in listening to what I say, to remember that all advice can only be a product of the man who gives it. What is truth to one may be disaster to another. I do not see life through your eyes, nor you through mine. If I were to attempt to give you specific advice, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.

“To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles … ” (Shakespeare)

And indeed, that IS the question: whether to float with the tide, or to swim for a goal. It is a choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives. So few people understand this! Think of any decision you’ve ever made which had a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don’t see how it could have been anything but a choice however indirect — between the two things I’ve mentioned: the floating or the swimming.

But why not float if you have no goal? That is another question. It is unquestionably better to enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal? Not a castle in the stars, but a real and tangible thing. How can a man be sure he’s not after the “big rock candy mountain,” the enticing sugar-candy goal that has little taste and no substance?

The answer — and, in a sense, the tragedy of life — is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It’s not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective.

So it would seem foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day? How could we ever hope to accomplish anything other than galloping neurosis?

The answer, then, must not deal with goals at all, or not with tangible goals, anyway. It would take reams of paper to develop this subject to fulfillment. God only knows how many books have been written on “the meaning of man” and that sort of thing, and god only knows how many people have pondered the subject. (I use the term “god only knows” purely as an expression.) There’s very little sense in my trying to give it up to you in the proverbial nutshell, because I’m the first to admit my absolute lack of qualifications for reducing the meaning of life to one or two paragraphs.

I’m going to steer clear of the word “existentialism,” but you might keep it in mind as a key of sorts. You might also try something called “Being and Nothingness” by Jean-Paul Sartre, and another little thing called “Existentialism: From Dostoyevsky to Sartre.” These are merely suggestions. If you’re genuinely satisfied with what you are and what you’re doing, then give those books a wide berth. (Let sleeping dogs lie.) But back to the answer. As I said, to put our faith in tangible goals would seem to be, at best, unwise. So we do not strive to be firemen, we do not strive to be bankers, nor policemen, nor doctors.WE STRIVE TO BE OURSELVES.

But don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean that we can’t BE firemen, bankers, or doctors — but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal. In every man, heredity and environment have combined to produce a creature of certain abilities and desires — including a deeply ingrained need to function in such a way that his life will be MEANINGFUL. A man has to BE something; he has to matter.

As I see it then, the formula runs something like this: a man must choose a path which will let his ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal), he avoids frustrating his potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks, he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires).

In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important. And it seems almost ridiculous to say that a man MUST function in a pattern of his own choosing; for to let another man define your own goals is to give up one of the most meaningful aspects of life — the definitive act of will which makes a man an individual.

Let’s assume that you think you have a choice of eight paths to follow (all pre-defined paths, of course). And let’s assume that you can’t see any real purpose in any of the eight. THEN — and here is the essence of all I’ve said — you MUST FIND A NINTH PATH.

Naturally, it isn’t as easy as it sounds. You’ve lived a relatively narrow life, a vertical rather than a horizontal existence. So it isn’t any too difficult to understand why you seem to feel the way you do. But a man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.

So if you now number yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things as they are, or to seriously seek something else. But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. But you say, “I don’t know where to look; I don’t know what to look for.”

And there’s the crux. Is it worth giving up what I have to look for something better? I don’t know — is it? Who can make that decision but you? But even by DECIDING TO LOOK, you go a long way toward making the choice.

If I don’t call this to a halt, I’m going to find myself writing a book. I hope it’s not as confusing as it looks at first glance. Keep in mind, of course, that this is MY WAY of looking at things. I happen to think that it’s pretty generally applicable, but you may not. Each of us has to create our own credo — this merely happens to be mine.

If any part of it doesn’t seem to make sense, by all means call it to my attention. I’m not trying to send you out “on the road” in search of Valhalla, but merely pointing out that it is not necessary to accept the choices handed down to you by life as you know it. There is more to it than that — no one HAS to do something he doesn’t want to do for the rest of his life. But then again, if that’s what you wind up doing, by all means convince yourself that you HAD to do it. You’ll have lots of company.

And that’s it for now. Until I hear from you again, I remain,

Your friend,
Hunter

The Problem With Understanding Intelligence

There are a lot of articles out there claiming to understand what comprises an intelligent person. They’ll site flimsy studies that affirm a myriad of very stereotypical traits about intelligent people. You’ve heard it plenty of times I’m sure. “You might be super smart if you are a night owl, introverted, don’t smoke, or have a cat instead of a dog.” To me, a lot of these claims are just plain silly. For centuries, scientists and psychologists have been trying to figure out what exactly intelligence is. More importantly, they’ve been trying to figure out how the highly intelligent think. As concrete as many articles claim the research is, we don’t actually understand intelligence much at all. If we did, more people would understand that intelligence can’t be measured and that there aren’t a set of assigned traits that intelligent people have.

An article I recently read written by Big Think created a correlation between intelligence and physical activity. If you’re highly intelligent you may not be as physically active because you prefer to be thinking. It sites a study of 60 college students with varying NFC’s (need for cognition) which, after just one week of time, discovered that those with higher NFC’s were less physically active. Therefore, it concluded that smarter people must be less active. Well, there’s a lot wrong with this deduction. First of all, there was a small pool of subjects. You need to study a lot of people to accurately gauge something as ambiguous as intelligence. Second, they only conducted the study for a week! There is no way you’re going to be able to accurately deduce anything about cognition over a span of 7 days. Things change in people’s lives and the desire to be active fluctuates based on a myriad of factors. Third, the correlation itself is a bit shady. They are claiming that those who are less active chose to stay home and think. Who says that staying home to think about stuff makes you smarter? And who does that anyway?! If I stay home instead of doing something active, I’m probably at home watching movies or something. There is clearly very flimsy evidence to suggest that lazy people are more intelligent. What if going running or playing a sport helps people think? It is very possible that certain people think more clearly or more creatively when they’re moving.

As humans we can’t help but feel we have to condense things in order to understand it. We condense vocabulary words to flash cards, we try to understand personalities by assigning colors and specific terminology to them (introvert vs. extrovert), and we try to understand groups of people by assigning them to biological races. Some of these are not even backed by real science! There is no scientific basis for biological races. We do the same for intelligence, claiming that intelligent people tend to stay up late, are thinner, and are funny. These are individual personality traits that some intelligent people may have but not all of them.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that we shouldn't try to understand intelligence, I just think that before we go making concrete claims about intelligence, we should make sure we have the science to back it up!

Personally, I don’t believe that intelligence is necessarily fixed. There are always more ways you can educate yourself, learn more about yourself and the world. Here are some ways you can make yourself a little smarter every day.

1. Keep an Open Mind 

The world is a big big place and there is so much to know about it. If you’re always held up in the same way of thinking, you may never be able to expand your mind.

2. Adapt to Changes

This is a tough one, but you must be able to adapt to changing environments and conditions. If you’re working on a project and a bunch of set-backs come your way, just adapt and re-asses.

3. Understand that there is a lot you don’t know 

You are never going to be able to know everything, but it’s better to learn as much as possible than to be content knowing nothing. Once you understand that there so much to learn and so much knowledge you don’t have, you’ll find yourself curious to learn more about stuff.

4. Be curious about stuff 

It doesn’t really matter what it's about. Just start with some interest you have and fall down the rabbit hole of information. In one day I go from technological advances in robotics to the art of meditation. The sky is the limit, so learn whatever you can!

Want To Accomplish Stuff? Stop Making New Year’s Resolutions

It’s officially 2017. Yay… Every New Year, we motivate ourselves to make huge changes in our lives, so we make resolutions. Why? Because it’s a tradition and if you don’t make them you may run the risk of appearing lazy or apathetic. However, every year you make resolutions and every year you manage to accomplish none of them (or very few). What’s up with that?

According to Psychology professor Peter Herman, when we create New Year’s resolutions we adopt something called the “false hope syndrome”, or the condition where we falsely hope to accomplish unrealistic goals. These goals are impractical and fall out of synch with who we really are. Failure to fulfil resolutions could be because we set our expectations too high, and then when it comes time to actually do something, we don’t know where to start or are afraid to take the first steps. It could also be attributed to the fact that some of us tend have a harder time accomplishing something once we’ve made it a task. For example, you’ve decided that you want to lose weight, so you say that your resolution is to lose 20 pounds. That’s actually a lot harder than it sounds and is no longer something exciting that you really want to do-it’s just another task for the checklist and can be easily neglected when other things in your life take priority. The solution is to treat goals like a hobby.

Instead of making New Year’s resolutions here’s my challenge for you. Make goals into hobbies. Why do we have hobbies? Because people like to do things they enjoy. You probably won’t enjoy losing 20 pounds (let’s just be real) but ask yourself this, what about losing 20 pounds excites you? What part of that process do you really want to do or already love doing? For example, do you like to cook and are excited about making certain recipes, are you a dancer and want to join a dance group, do you like to go hiking, running, or just want to join meetup group of people who are also trying to lose weight. Make your goals something that you actually want to do. Keep in the back of your mind that the end goal is to lose weight, but enjoy the journey and celebrate every victory. Celebrate after you lose 5 pounds, 10 pounds etc. After all, having goals is supposed to be fun!

Stop making resolutions that are ridiculously hard to accomplish like quitting smoking, getting more organized or getting into grad school. These are intimidating goals and take a careful amount of planning to accomplish. Most of us simply won’t do it. Know yourself and how you tick. Are you the kind of person that is very goal oriented and accomplishes what they set out to do, or are you the type of person that needs a (a lot) of motivating. If you’re the later type then using fun goals as motivation will serve you well. Don’t crush yourself with expectations then feel bad about it when you aren’t successful. Have some sympathy for your future self and ease up a bit, you’ll thank me later.  

Philosophical Mediation For Anxiety

In my precious post entitled F*ck Feelings: Practical Ways to Manage Anxiety, I mentioned briefly a term called Philosophical Meditation. While I explained briefly what the term meant, I’d like to elaborate on exactly how effective this kind of meditation truly is.

According to the School of Life, which has become my new favorite Youtube Channel, Philosophical Meditation is inspired by Western philosophical methods of coping with anxiety. What we consider to be traditional meditation is an Eastern philosophical practice that emphasizes the removal of oneself from what is causing you distress. It advocates that you remove yourself physically to a quiet and undisturbed location and allow yourself to take on an objective view of what you feel. This is particularly effective if you are in dire need of focus and calm, however the key to Eastern meditation is that you must physically remove yourself from everything. What if there was a way to meditate without removing yourself, closing your eyes, or focusing intensely for several minutes? You’re not gonna believe this, but there is.

Philosophical Meditation is the act of identifying your thoughts and feelings and rationalizing exactly what you fear. Let me tell you, it works wonders. For example, imagine that tomorrow is your first day at a new job. You’re very very anxious and your mind is spinning with what ifs and its driving you mad. Here’s how you use Philosophical Meditation to regulate your anxiety.

1. Identify Exactly What it Is You’re Afraid Of

Do not try to understand why you’re feeling afraid, try to get a grasp of exactly what is causing you to feel afraid. Are you afraid that you’ll get to work late, make a bad impression, make stupid mistakes, or end up hating the job? Identify exactly what is causing you grief and write them out on a notepad.

2. Begin to Rationalize Your Fears and Make a Plan

Here is where you tackle your fears head on. Show no mercy. Take a second to write out exactly why these fears are overblown or irrational then make a plan of action. If you’re worried about being late, write down your plan to avoid being late plan your route carefully and set your alarm to wake you up a little earlier. Ask yourself, “What if I’m late anyways? What happens then?” Then you can begin to rationalize your thoughts by saying something along the lines of, “Well, I have a contact that I can email/call if something goes awry, and people probably understand that I don’t really understand the best routes to get there yet. It’s only the first day, they expect you to mess up.”

The key to Philosophical Meditation is to force that grey area of unaddressed improbabilities into the spotlight, and to break them down using rationality and logic. I can’t tell you how many times this has helped me cope with my ridiculously severe anxiety. I find that my fears do not stand up to much scrutiny when in the lime light. It simply doesn’t take much for our insecurities to fall apart. In part, this may be because our emotions protect these fears to a great extent. Your emotions act as a kind of barrier to deter you from delving into what you fear simply because you fear them. If you deny your feelings influence over you for a moment and just get to the core of what you are afraid of, you will begin to see some real improvements. If you find yourself growing anxious again, return to your notepad and read what you fear and your rationalizations of your fears. I doesn’t matter how many times you have to remind yourself, just do what it takes to manage your anxiety.


You can watch the School of Life video about Philosophical Mediation here.

Nothing Is Original: The True Key to Creativity

I am a very creative person. My imaginings, daydreams and visions are often so vivid that I feel an incessant pull to express and share what I’m experiencing. If I’m not able to express them in a form I enjoy, I tend to become emotionally imbalanced. Therefore, it’s imperative that take advantage of the many outlets I have to express my creativity. I mentioned in a previous post how you can get creative. I utilize many, if not all of these outlets on a daily basis. I sing using an app called Sing!, I write music, I play piano, I design outfits on Polyvore, I write blogposts and short stories, I study languages, and create playlists on Youtube. Strangely enough, I need every one of these outlets. Without them, I feel like I’ve lost something dear to me. That’s exactly what this new book I read explains. In Austin Kleon’s book Steal Like An Artist, he elaborates on exactly what it takes to create awesome things, but it’s not what you may think.

Artists are frequently told to think outside the box, be creative or seek originality. These are not entirely incorrect but they neglect a key point- nothing is original. Kleon says that great artists understand that nothing comes from nowhere. All creative work just builds upon something that came before it. In other words, great artists simply steal material they like from previous artists and emulate them into their own personal style. For example, if I’m a songwriter looking for creative ways to write new music, I should find other artists I love and study them. What is their inspiration, what is their songwriting style, who influenced their sound? With this information, I can begin to create my own sound. You should definitely give this book a read, but in the meantime, here are the main take aways!

Find Something Worth Stealing

Search for things that touch your heart and soul and make a note to use those for inspiration. Collect anything that kicks your imagination into gear, makes you feel good or makes you think. It can be anything from movies, novels, poems, photography, fashion, etc.

Find Heroes

Is there a particular artist who you already have in mind as your inspiration? Perfect. However, it is better to have a conglomerate of inspiration than just a single artist. After all, you don’t want to just take from a single artist. Create a tree of heroes. Find out who your hero gets their inspiration from. Then research where they got their inspiration from. What other artists are similar to your heroes? Where did they get their inspiration? It’s good to deeply understand where you are getting your inspiration, because you don’t just want to imitate others, you want to see what they see and understand the thinking behind their art. That will help you to create your own.

Emulate Your Heroes

So at some point in the creative process you’ll need to create your own personal style. Use what you know about your heroes and create something that is uniquely your own. Ask yourself “Is there something the artist missed? What should they make?” Then make that. Take the inspiration from your heroes and make what you would want to see or hear yourself. What is the kind of music you LOVE hearing? Take that and apply that to your inspiration.

Get Bored

Creativity pairs well with boredom. You may notice that when you’re bored you come up with some interesting ideas, so let yourself be bored. Wash dishes, take a walk, iron clothes, organize your closet, and stare out the window. Just let your mind wander and write down all those interesting ideas you encounter. Creative people aren’t always leading excitingly cinematic lives. We have day jobs, pets and families just like everyone else. The only difference is that creative people fill every moment they aren’t working with something creative.

Create Constraints

I know this sounds counter-productive, but creativity also works best with constraints. There is nothing more paralyzing than having an infinite amount of options. If you have fewer options, your creativity can really get to work! So set some boundaries before you start working. Pick a theme, topic, or some constraint that will help focus your work so that you’re not paralyzed by the possibilities.

Don’t Seek Validation

Some people create amazing things but almost never share them because they’re afraid of what people will think of them. As Keon puts it “Validation is for parking”. Your job is create what you love and share it with others. You can’t control who is going to like it and who isn’t, just embrace those who appreciate your work as they come, but don’t rely on their compliments. You’re doing this for you.  

Hope this helps! What has helped to spur your creativity? What do you do to get the creative juices flowing?

Why The Holidays Aren't So Bright Anymore

There was a certain sparkle in my eyes as I stared at the Christmas tree. I was small enough that it towered over me, and the shimmering lights, velvet red ribbon, and glittering ornaments were captivated me with pure magic. When the tree goes up, it's officially Christmas. And I loved Christmas. It was one time of year where I was showered with gifts, surrounded by family, stuffed with delicious food, and rushed to all sorts of exciting events. My spirit was all a glow and my heart was so very warm. However, as I aged, that glow dimmed and that warmth faded. Ever since I graduated college, holly jolly Christmases have been hard to come by. 

When I was in college, I had ample amount of time after finals dedicated solely to enjoying the holidays. I took for granted how wonderful a three week vacation is compared to 10 days, which is what I have now. I was able to hop on a plane right after my last final (which was typically the 18^th or 19^th) and be home several days before Christmas. I could help decorate, plan fun activities leading up to Christmas, and just rest a while. Two years in a row my sister and I planned Christmas around the world. In around four or five days we’d celebrate Christmas traditions from around the world with each day being a different country. It was all I could think about while studying for finals. I also had less responsibility to buy gifts. I was a college student, so no one expected me to afford gifts. I worked part time, so I was able to afford small gifts to my immediate family, but otherwise all I was expected to do was receive. It was much simpler and stress-free back then.

Now that I’m a working adult with bills, student loans and responsibility, the holidays have become much more of a hassle. I have to save enough money to buy gifts for everyone, while making sure my bills get paid, and I have enough for travel expenses. I arrived home just two days before Christmas and my boyfriend and I were exhausted from travel and work. The light of the Christmas tree seemed far less magical as my mind constantly swirled with anxiety relating to buying gifts, traveling, paying bills, etc.

To move forward from this thinking, we must change the way we celebrate and anticipate the holiday season. I always saw them as a celebration of potential to receive and to experience magic for myself. The way I felt when I was young may never be happen again, but it can for someone else. Someone else can have the same passion and warmth that I had if I just give a little. It’s also a time to remember all the good times and hard times of the year and commend your friends and family for overcoming it all. The most important thing to remember is that you don’t have to celebrate Christmas traditionally. Sometimes I plan to do things that I’ve traditionally done with my family in the past, but then I end up being too tired to do them. Then I feel bad about it, and think the holiday was just bad or something. Instead, treat every holiday like a whole new one. One year you may just decide to chill out and have wine while you marathon British comedies.  Don’t try to over plan. Just enjoy your break from work or school and do activities as you feel. So give to others, don’t over plan, and try new things. That’s what Christmas is all about.