Philosophical Mediation For Anxiety

In my precious post entitled F*ck Feelings: Practical Ways to Manage Anxiety, I mentioned briefly a term called Philosophical Meditation. While I explained briefly what the term meant, I’d like to elaborate on exactly how effective this kind of meditation truly is.

According to the School of Life, which has become my new favorite Youtube Channel, Philosophical Meditation is inspired by Western philosophical methods of coping with anxiety. What we consider to be traditional meditation is an Eastern philosophical practice that emphasizes the removal of oneself from what is causing you distress. It advocates that you remove yourself physically to a quiet and undisturbed location and allow yourself to take on an objective view of what you feel. This is particularly effective if you are in dire need of focus and calm, however the key to Eastern meditation is that you must physically remove yourself from everything. What if there was a way to meditate without removing yourself, closing your eyes, or focusing intensely for several minutes? You’re not gonna believe this, but there is.

Philosophical Meditation is the act of identifying your thoughts and feelings and rationalizing exactly what you fear. Let me tell you, it works wonders. For example, imagine that tomorrow is your first day at a new job. You’re very very anxious and your mind is spinning with what ifs and its driving you mad. Here’s how you use Philosophical Meditation to regulate your anxiety.

1. Identify Exactly What it Is You’re Afraid Of

Do not try to understand why you’re feeling afraid, try to get a grasp of exactly what is causing you to feel afraid. Are you afraid that you’ll get to work late, make a bad impression, make stupid mistakes, or end up hating the job? Identify exactly what is causing you grief and write them out on a notepad.

2. Begin to Rationalize Your Fears and Make a Plan

Here is where you tackle your fears head on. Show no mercy. Take a second to write out exactly why these fears are overblown or irrational then make a plan of action. If you’re worried about being late, write down your plan to avoid being late plan your route carefully and set your alarm to wake you up a little earlier. Ask yourself, “What if I’m late anyways? What happens then?” Then you can begin to rationalize your thoughts by saying something along the lines of, “Well, I have a contact that I can email/call if something goes awry, and people probably understand that I don’t really understand the best routes to get there yet. It’s only the first day, they expect you to mess up.”

The key to Philosophical Meditation is to force that grey area of unaddressed improbabilities into the spotlight, and to break them down using rationality and logic. I can’t tell you how many times this has helped me cope with my ridiculously severe anxiety. I find that my fears do not stand up to much scrutiny when in the lime light. It simply doesn’t take much for our insecurities to fall apart. In part, this may be because our emotions protect these fears to a great extent. Your emotions act as a kind of barrier to deter you from delving into what you fear simply because you fear them. If you deny your feelings influence over you for a moment and just get to the core of what you are afraid of, you will begin to see some real improvements. If you find yourself growing anxious again, return to your notepad and read what you fear and your rationalizations of your fears. I doesn’t matter how many times you have to remind yourself, just do what it takes to manage your anxiety.


You can watch the School of Life video about Philosophical Mediation here.

Nothing Is Original: The True Key to Creativity

I am a very creative person. My imaginings, daydreams and visions are often so vivid that I feel an incessant pull to express and share what I’m experiencing. If I’m not able to express them in a form I enjoy, I tend to become emotionally imbalanced. Therefore, it’s imperative that take advantage of the many outlets I have to express my creativity. I mentioned in a previous post how you can get creative. I utilize many, if not all of these outlets on a daily basis. I sing using an app called Sing!, I write music, I play piano, I design outfits on Polyvore, I write blogposts and short stories, I study languages, and create playlists on Youtube. Strangely enough, I need every one of these outlets. Without them, I feel like I’ve lost something dear to me. That’s exactly what this new book I read explains. In Austin Kleon’s book Steal Like An Artist, he elaborates on exactly what it takes to create awesome things, but it’s not what you may think.

Artists are frequently told to think outside the box, be creative or seek originality. These are not entirely incorrect but they neglect a key point- nothing is original. Kleon says that great artists understand that nothing comes from nowhere. All creative work just builds upon something that came before it. In other words, great artists simply steal material they like from previous artists and emulate them into their own personal style. For example, if I’m a songwriter looking for creative ways to write new music, I should find other artists I love and study them. What is their inspiration, what is their songwriting style, who influenced their sound? With this information, I can begin to create my own sound. You should definitely give this book a read, but in the meantime, here are the main take aways!

Find Something Worth Stealing

Search for things that touch your heart and soul and make a note to use those for inspiration. Collect anything that kicks your imagination into gear, makes you feel good or makes you think. It can be anything from movies, novels, poems, photography, fashion, etc.

Find Heroes

Is there a particular artist who you already have in mind as your inspiration? Perfect. However, it is better to have a conglomerate of inspiration than just a single artist. After all, you don’t want to just take from a single artist. Create a tree of heroes. Find out who your hero gets their inspiration from. Then research where they got their inspiration from. What other artists are similar to your heroes? Where did they get their inspiration? It’s good to deeply understand where you are getting your inspiration, because you don’t just want to imitate others, you want to see what they see and understand the thinking behind their art. That will help you to create your own.

Emulate Your Heroes

So at some point in the creative process you’ll need to create your own personal style. Use what you know about your heroes and create something that is uniquely your own. Ask yourself “Is there something the artist missed? What should they make?” Then make that. Take the inspiration from your heroes and make what you would want to see or hear yourself. What is the kind of music you LOVE hearing? Take that and apply that to your inspiration.

Get Bored

Creativity pairs well with boredom. You may notice that when you’re bored you come up with some interesting ideas, so let yourself be bored. Wash dishes, take a walk, iron clothes, organize your closet, and stare out the window. Just let your mind wander and write down all those interesting ideas you encounter. Creative people aren’t always leading excitingly cinematic lives. We have day jobs, pets and families just like everyone else. The only difference is that creative people fill every moment they aren’t working with something creative.

Create Constraints

I know this sounds counter-productive, but creativity also works best with constraints. There is nothing more paralyzing than having an infinite amount of options. If you have fewer options, your creativity can really get to work! So set some boundaries before you start working. Pick a theme, topic, or some constraint that will help focus your work so that you’re not paralyzed by the possibilities.

Don’t Seek Validation

Some people create amazing things but almost never share them because they’re afraid of what people will think of them. As Keon puts it “Validation is for parking”. Your job is create what you love and share it with others. You can’t control who is going to like it and who isn’t, just embrace those who appreciate your work as they come, but don’t rely on their compliments. You’re doing this for you.  

Hope this helps! What has helped to spur your creativity? What do you do to get the creative juices flowing?

Why The Holidays Aren't So Bright Anymore

There was a certain sparkle in my eyes as I stared at the Christmas tree. I was small enough that it towered over me, and the shimmering lights, velvet red ribbon, and glittering ornaments were captivated me with pure magic. When the tree goes up, it's officially Christmas. And I loved Christmas. It was one time of year where I was showered with gifts, surrounded by family, stuffed with delicious food, and rushed to all sorts of exciting events. My spirit was all a glow and my heart was so very warm. However, as I aged, that glow dimmed and that warmth faded. Ever since I graduated college, holly jolly Christmases have been hard to come by. 

When I was in college, I had ample amount of time after finals dedicated solely to enjoying the holidays. I took for granted how wonderful a three week vacation is compared to 10 days, which is what I have now. I was able to hop on a plane right after my last final (which was typically the 18^th or 19^th) and be home several days before Christmas. I could help decorate, plan fun activities leading up to Christmas, and just rest a while. Two years in a row my sister and I planned Christmas around the world. In around four or five days we’d celebrate Christmas traditions from around the world with each day being a different country. It was all I could think about while studying for finals. I also had less responsibility to buy gifts. I was a college student, so no one expected me to afford gifts. I worked part time, so I was able to afford small gifts to my immediate family, but otherwise all I was expected to do was receive. It was much simpler and stress-free back then.

Now that I’m a working adult with bills, student loans and responsibility, the holidays have become much more of a hassle. I have to save enough money to buy gifts for everyone, while making sure my bills get paid, and I have enough for travel expenses. I arrived home just two days before Christmas and my boyfriend and I were exhausted from travel and work. The light of the Christmas tree seemed far less magical as my mind constantly swirled with anxiety relating to buying gifts, traveling, paying bills, etc.

To move forward from this thinking, we must change the way we celebrate and anticipate the holiday season. I always saw them as a celebration of potential to receive and to experience magic for myself. The way I felt when I was young may never be happen again, but it can for someone else. Someone else can have the same passion and warmth that I had if I just give a little. It’s also a time to remember all the good times and hard times of the year and commend your friends and family for overcoming it all. The most important thing to remember is that you don’t have to celebrate Christmas traditionally. Sometimes I plan to do things that I’ve traditionally done with my family in the past, but then I end up being too tired to do them. Then I feel bad about it, and think the holiday was just bad or something. Instead, treat every holiday like a whole new one. One year you may just decide to chill out and have wine while you marathon British comedies.  Don’t try to over plan. Just enjoy your break from work or school and do activities as you feel. So give to others, don’t over plan, and try new things. That’s what Christmas is all about.

Three Signs You May Be A Maladaptive Daydreamer

     If you’re familiar with Maladaptive Daydreaming (or MD) this article will be very relatable. Otherwise, this will sound absolutely insane. However, bear with me. It’s very hard for a person with a Maladaptive Daydreaming disorder to explain it to others. Other people cannot begin to comprehend the complexities and intricacies of our imaginations. However, I will attempt to explain what Maladaptive Daydreaming is and how you know you might have it. Firstly, MD is not a diagnosable illness. Most health care professionals haven’t got a clue what it means. It’s a new phenomenon for both those experiencing it and those who are trying to treat it, but it’s becoming a more prevalent issue. At the moment it is considered a sub-set of anxiety or depression, and while that is mostly true, I believe that it deserves to be in a category of its own. We’ll define MD as an uncontrollable urge to produce very intricate daydreams or fantasies at often unpredictable times.  It goes waayyy beyond your average daydreaming capabilities because it is much more vivid and real to those fabricating the daydreams. These daydreams have deep plots, characters, scenarios and emotions that interact with each other in incredibly unique ways. It’s much more in depth than, say, having a movie theater in your head. It’s more like having a virtual reality headset on all time. In terms of content, our daydreams could consist of anything under the sun. They don’t have to be about ourselves and they are sometimes not conceived intentionally at all. It just sort of happens! MD is definitely considered a blessing and a curse, but how do you know if you have it?

Your Fantasies are Vivid and Complex

When I say vivid, I mean vivid. I’m not just talking about daydreaming about someone you have a crush on. I mean you imagine whole other worlds. If I were to tell you picture yourself in a different landscape, you will be able to imagine some fictitious scenery without even having to close your eyes or think for more than a short period of time. Or if I were to ask you where you’re mind wanders off to the most lately, you’ll be able to paint me a picture of a new world. Whenever you think about the world you’ve created, it conjures up powerful emotions. The real world is just a platform to extrapolate ideas for your daydreams.

You Find Yourself Daydreaming All the Time

 Not just when you’re bored, but whenever your brain can spare a moment you’re drifting off into another dimension. It may often be at inopportune times like when you’re supposed to be listening to instructions, waiting for your zone to get called so you don’t miss your flight, etc. The key issue you face as an MD is that you probably schedule time, or set time aside exclusively for daydreaming! You may prefer to do that instead of planning to go out or hang out with friends as a result.

You Feel Out of Control

If you’re like me, you feel like you have very little control over when you daydream heavily. You often can’t control when you’ll tumble into your fantasies and once you’re in, it’s hard to get out. Why? Because you love being there! Because of this, you may feel helplessness or lack of control. That feeling may be exacerbated because your daydreaming could bleed into other areas of your life and affect your ability to achieve your goals. It can feel like a losing battle, but don’t lose hope. There’s a way to cope.

So you have MD. Now what? Please know that you’re not alone. Having MD can be so incredibly fascinating, but most of the time it can be destructive. However, it doesn’t have to be a curse. Your mind is incredibly unique and the worlds you imagine are as well. You need to learn to channel these imaginings into something productive so that it’s easier to manage. I daydream OFTEN about stories and plots, so I like to write them down and create tons of short stories. I also fantasize about music (I imagine a melodies as they’re associated with scenery), so I write song lyrics and melodies that are similar to the ones I’ve imagined. For some reason, my daydreams are also very very specific about the clothing people wear. I so design clothing and outfits online. If you often see beautiful landscapes, try to draw them or find some way to describe what you’re seeing. You must learn to express your creative genius, because it truly is genius. You never know what beautiful art, music, stories, gifts, designs, etc.  you can make until you try! Who knows where your talents may lead! How have you learned to cope with MD? How has it affected you?

Grayscale Winter Minimalist Look

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Great Ways to Get Creative

        I’m kind of a strange soul. I become antsy and restless if I cannot express myself creatively in some way. I truly do enjoy thinking creatively and making things with my hands. In a world of copy cats, it provides me with this individually empowering joy that I could never obtain from taking a selfie or posting a photo to Instragram-I made this piece of art and it represents me. For a while, I didn’t have any outlets to be creative. I couldn’t make blog backgrounds because I no longer had (or could afford) photoshop, I liked to put together outfits, but didn’t know how I could do so online, and I liked to write music but I no longer had access to a keyboard. Things began to look bleak. My anxiety spiraled out of control, my moods swung unpredictably and became very depressed and cold towards my loved ones. If it isn’t obvious already, I truly NEED creativity in my life. So I sat down to plan out new ways I can express my creativity until I can afford more tools (like a keyboard).

Write Lyrics

Like to write songs? Write a bunch of lyrics and try to hum a melody. It’s pretty straight forward, but everyone’s creative process is different. I find that I need to channel some emotion I wish to convey first. The emotion will sometimes help me think of chords and melodies. Then I think of the theme of the song, then the title. Then I can begin actually writing the song. Try to consider the meter you’d like before you start putting words to the page. Also try to consider which instruments you’d like to play your song.

Compose Music

There’s a free computer software application called Muse Score (https://musescore.org/) that allows you to write sheet music. It doesn’t take too long to learn how to use the software, and it’s wonderful for if you don’t have an instrument readily available or if you like to plan music perfectly before pulling out your instrument of choice.

Fashion Design

Into fashion design? Try out a website called Polyvore. It’s a website where you can use the online database of clothing, accessories, makeup, etc to assemble outfits and collections. The website is totally free and very fun!

Write a Short Story

My imagination runs rampant every day! I never know what kind of stories or scenarios will pop into my head at any given moment. If you’re like me, it’s probably a good idea to write them down and feed your imagination. See what would happen if you were to have mind control powers, or if you found out that your friend is in the CIA, or that your family is related to a tribe of werewolves, or that you won the lottery but there is a catch.

 Read a Book

I know, I know. You don’t get to make anything by reading a book, but hold on there for a second. Reading books gets your imagination running. It may give you some ideas for your next project or creative endeavor. You never know!

Make a Blogpost

Have a blog, make a blogpost about something that’s been on your mind lately! It really gets your creative juices (and funny anecdotes) flowing. It’s the most freeing form of creative writing and love to encourage people to share what’s on their minds or in their hearts.

Graphic Design

Download Photoshop, or GIMP if you can’t afford photoshop, and make some blog backgrounds, banners, logos, wallpapers, calendars, icons, etc. Take a class on coding if you want to get deeper into web design. Whether it’s for personal use or to sell get your digital design fix from these creative outlets.

Interior Design

There’s a software application called Room Sketcher (http://www.roomsketcher.com/interior-design/) that is apparently a virtual platform for aspiring interior designers. I myself have never used the software before, but it a good-to-know resource. Also, (now don’t judge) the Sims offers an excellent platform to plan, build and design virtual homes from scratch. Even if you never actually play with any sims, just being able to build and design homes is very exciting. In what ways do you like to get creative?

F*ck Feelings: Practical Ways to Manage Anxiety

Whenever I would share a certain aspect of my life that I struggle with, people would gasp in disbelief. “I would never have guessed!!” The surprise on their face looks in no way fabricated to hide the fact that they knew all along and was trying to be polite. No, they are always genuinely surprised and bewildered that a person so put-together as me can struggle so much with anxiety. The truth is everyone deals with anxiety to some extent, but a few of us struggle on a severe degree (like me). However, I’m here to reassure you that even the most severe anxiety can be managed!

I’ve had general anxiety since I was 12 years old. Suddenly, the things I found common place evoked feelings of dread and pain. My body grew paralyzed and in shock without warning, and I couldn't shake that painful, searing feeling of panic and dread. It’s similar to the sensation you would get if someone was holding a gun to, not your head, but to the head of someone you love. I’ve always been on the outside looking in when it came to controlling my emotions, as if my brain was on auto pilot. I dealt with the pain all throughout college until last month I picked a book called F*ck Feelings. Before I begin to list coping mechanisms I learned from this awesome book, I’m going to give a brief overview of what’s going on in your brain when you have anxiety. 

Anxiety is the normal reaction to when you brain perceives some situation, object or person to be some how threatening. However, for people who suffer with excessive anxiety our brain creates a life threatening situation from a situation that isn’t at all life threatening. I find that before I even step into the made up “life threatening” situation, my brain is already preparing my body to fight or flight! That’s when your anxiety spirals. Before any situation occurs, your body is preparing to defend itself. Thoughts may fly through your mind about all the reasons you may want to opt for the “flight” option, but then you may feel guilty about doing that. So you consider the “fight” option, but it’s so painful, so you’re back to square one. Though this sounds troubling, all is not lost! Over the years I’ve learned how to cope with my anxiety and I’m excited to share them.  

Philosophical Meditation 

      According to the School of Life, Philosophical Mediation is the act of thinking through the things you are anxious about. Are you afraid of missing your flight? Think about if  you actually did miss your flight?  What would your plan be? Would it be the end of the world? Probably not. This western style of meditation focuses on creating solutions to the problems you've created in your mind. 

Listen to Loud Music 

      Don't blow your eardrums out, but listening to music at louder volumes has been proven in a few studies to relax you. Try turning up your tunes and tuning out the world.

    Manage Your Emotions

Go ahead and accept the fact that you cannot control your anxiety. You can't command it to stop when you get frustrated and you can't tell it to roll over or play dead. Anxiety doesn't work that way. Instead of fighting so hard to stop your anxiety, learn to regulate it. Learn little ways that you can manage your anxiety when you feel it coming on strong. I like to rationalize what I'm being anxious about. Force your fears into the lime light and call into question whether it's actually work freaking out over. Once I've zeroed in on what I'm actually afraid of, I quickly learn that it isn't rational at all. From there, I counsel myself using logic and rational. "Okay, I'm afraid of X, but in reality..." "If X does happen, then Y is the plan for getting past it." Don't try to fight away how you feel. Instead, take a second to confront your feelings. Bad things WILL happen, but think about your plan when they do. It's a fruitless task to be constantly in fear of bad things. 

Don’t Beat Yourself Up 

I've been reading an excellent book called F*ck Feelings by Sarah and Michael Bennett. The book provides practical, brutally honest advice on how to deal with your anxiety. One key piece of advice the book provides is don’t be upset with yourself if you get too anxious to do something, just accept what you can’t control and manage what you can. If you allow your anxiety to get the better of you and it causes you to behave in a way contrary to the way you prefer, don't become guilty or usept with yourself. Forgive yourself and make a note to be more careful next time. Self-destruction is a wicked cycle. You do something wrong, then you beat yourself up, then you become more anxious/depressed, then you do something wrong again. The cycle continues. End the cycle and make a point to give yourself a break.

Understand Your Anxiety but Don’t Try to Find Its Origins or Roots 

jj    As F*ck Your Feelings so eloquently states, do NOT try to go rooting around in your childhood, subconscious or heart and soul to figure out where you anxiety is coming from. It's a pointless way to avoid dealing with the problem. However you got it doesn't matter so much, all that matter is that you have anxiety right now and need to deal with it. Instead, try to figure out what it is your afraid of and how you can deal with it. 

I have pretty severe anxiety according to my doctors and these tips have been so incredibly life changing! I know they can be for you too. Just remember not to take life too seriously. Have fun and reward yourself when you rationalize your fears or manage your anxiety in scary situations.