Three Signs You May Be A Maladaptive Daydreamer

     If you’re familiar with Maladaptive Daydreaming (or MD) this article will be very relatable. Otherwise, this will sound absolutely insane. However, bear with me. It’s very hard for a person with a Maladaptive Daydreaming disorder to explain it to others. Other people cannot begin to comprehend the complexities and intricacies of our imaginations. However, I will attempt to explain what Maladaptive Daydreaming is and how you know you might have it. Firstly, MD is not a diagnosable illness. Most health care professionals haven’t got a clue what it means. It’s a new phenomenon for both those experiencing it and those who are trying to treat it, but it’s becoming a more prevalent issue. At the moment it is considered a sub-set of anxiety or depression, and while that is mostly true, I believe that it deserves to be in a category of its own. We’ll define MD as an uncontrollable urge to produce very intricate daydreams or fantasies at often unpredictable times.  It goes waayyy beyond your average daydreaming capabilities because it is much more vivid and real to those fabricating the daydreams. These daydreams have deep plots, characters, scenarios and emotions that interact with each other in incredibly unique ways. It’s much more in depth than, say, having a movie theater in your head. It’s more like having a virtual reality headset on all time. In terms of content, our daydreams could consist of anything under the sun. They don’t have to be about ourselves and they are sometimes not conceived intentionally at all. It just sort of happens! MD is definitely considered a blessing and a curse, but how do you know if you have it?

Your Fantasies are Vivid and Complex

When I say vivid, I mean vivid. I’m not just talking about daydreaming about someone you have a crush on. I mean you imagine whole other worlds. If I were to tell you picture yourself in a different landscape, you will be able to imagine some fictitious scenery without even having to close your eyes or think for more than a short period of time. Or if I were to ask you where you’re mind wanders off to the most lately, you’ll be able to paint me a picture of a new world. Whenever you think about the world you’ve created, it conjures up powerful emotions. The real world is just a platform to extrapolate ideas for your daydreams.

You Find Yourself Daydreaming All the Time

 Not just when you’re bored, but whenever your brain can spare a moment you’re drifting off into another dimension. It may often be at inopportune times like when you’re supposed to be listening to instructions, waiting for your zone to get called so you don’t miss your flight, etc. The key issue you face as an MD is that you probably schedule time, or set time aside exclusively for daydreaming! You may prefer to do that instead of planning to go out or hang out with friends as a result.

You Feel Out of Control

If you’re like me, you feel like you have very little control over when you daydream heavily. You often can’t control when you’ll tumble into your fantasies and once you’re in, it’s hard to get out. Why? Because you love being there! Because of this, you may feel helplessness or lack of control. That feeling may be exacerbated because your daydreaming could bleed into other areas of your life and affect your ability to achieve your goals. It can feel like a losing battle, but don’t lose hope. There’s a way to cope.

So you have MD. Now what? Please know that you’re not alone. Having MD can be so incredibly fascinating, but most of the time it can be destructive. However, it doesn’t have to be a curse. Your mind is incredibly unique and the worlds you imagine are as well. You need to learn to channel these imaginings into something productive so that it’s easier to manage. I daydream OFTEN about stories and plots, so I like to write them down and create tons of short stories. I also fantasize about music (I imagine a melodies as they’re associated with scenery), so I write song lyrics and melodies that are similar to the ones I’ve imagined. For some reason, my daydreams are also very very specific about the clothing people wear. I so design clothing and outfits online. If you often see beautiful landscapes, try to draw them or find some way to describe what you’re seeing. You must learn to express your creative genius, because it truly is genius. You never know what beautiful art, music, stories, gifts, designs, etc.  you can make until you try! Who knows where your talents may lead! How have you learned to cope with MD? How has it affected you?

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Great Ways to Get Creative

        I’m kind of a strange soul. I become antsy and restless if I cannot express myself creatively in some way. I truly do enjoy thinking creatively and making things with my hands. In a world of copy cats, it provides me with this individually empowering joy that I could never obtain from taking a selfie or posting a photo to Instragram-I made this piece of art and it represents me. For a while, I didn’t have any outlets to be creative. I couldn’t make blog backgrounds because I no longer had (or could afford) photoshop, I liked to put together outfits, but didn’t know how I could do so online, and I liked to write music but I no longer had access to a keyboard. Things began to look bleak. My anxiety spiraled out of control, my moods swung unpredictably and became very depressed and cold towards my loved ones. If it isn’t obvious already, I truly NEED creativity in my life. So I sat down to plan out new ways I can express my creativity until I can afford more tools (like a keyboard).

Write Lyrics

Like to write songs? Write a bunch of lyrics and try to hum a melody. It’s pretty straight forward, but everyone’s creative process is different. I find that I need to channel some emotion I wish to convey first. The emotion will sometimes help me think of chords and melodies. Then I think of the theme of the song, then the title. Then I can begin actually writing the song. Try to consider the meter you’d like before you start putting words to the page. Also try to consider which instruments you’d like to play your song.

Compose Music

There’s a free computer software application called Muse Score (https://musescore.org/) that allows you to write sheet music. It doesn’t take too long to learn how to use the software, and it’s wonderful for if you don’t have an instrument readily available or if you like to plan music perfectly before pulling out your instrument of choice.

Fashion Design

Into fashion design? Try out a website called Polyvore. It’s a website where you can use the online database of clothing, accessories, makeup, etc to assemble outfits and collections. The website is totally free and very fun!

Write a Short Story

My imagination runs rampant every day! I never know what kind of stories or scenarios will pop into my head at any given moment. If you’re like me, it’s probably a good idea to write them down and feed your imagination. See what would happen if you were to have mind control powers, or if you found out that your friend is in the CIA, or that your family is related to a tribe of werewolves, or that you won the lottery but there is a catch.

 Read a Book

I know, I know. You don’t get to make anything by reading a book, but hold on there for a second. Reading books gets your imagination running. It may give you some ideas for your next project or creative endeavor. You never know!

Make a Blogpost

Have a blog, make a blogpost about something that’s been on your mind lately! It really gets your creative juices (and funny anecdotes) flowing. It’s the most freeing form of creative writing and love to encourage people to share what’s on their minds or in their hearts.

Graphic Design

Download Photoshop, or GIMP if you can’t afford photoshop, and make some blog backgrounds, banners, logos, wallpapers, calendars, icons, etc. Take a class on coding if you want to get deeper into web design. Whether it’s for personal use or to sell get your digital design fix from these creative outlets.

Interior Design

There’s a software application called Room Sketcher (http://www.roomsketcher.com/interior-design/) that is apparently a virtual platform for aspiring interior designers. I myself have never used the software before, but it a good-to-know resource. Also, (now don’t judge) the Sims offers an excellent platform to plan, build and design virtual homes from scratch. Even if you never actually play with any sims, just being able to build and design homes is very exciting. In what ways do you like to get creative?

F*ck Feelings: Practical Ways to Manage Anxiety

Whenever I would share a certain aspect of my life that I struggle with, people would gasp in disbelief. “I would never have guessed!!” The surprise on their face looks in no way fabricated to hide the fact that they knew all along and was trying to be polite. No, they are always genuinely surprised and bewildered that a person so put-together as me can struggle so much with anxiety. The truth is everyone deals with anxiety to some extent, but a few of us struggle on a severe degree (like me). However, I’m here to reassure you that even the most severe anxiety can be managed!

I’ve had general anxiety since I was 12 years old. Suddenly, the things I found common place evoked feelings of dread and pain. My body grew paralyzed and in shock without warning, and I couldn't shake that painful, searing feeling of panic and dread. It’s similar to the sensation you would get if someone was holding a gun to, not your head, but to the head of someone you love. I’ve always been on the outside looking in when it came to controlling my emotions, as if my brain was on auto pilot. I dealt with the pain all throughout college until last month I picked a book called F*ck Feelings. Before I begin to list coping mechanisms I learned from this awesome book, I’m going to give a brief overview of what’s going on in your brain when you have anxiety. 

Anxiety is the normal reaction to when you brain perceives some situation, object or person to be some how threatening. However, for people who suffer with excessive anxiety our brain creates a life threatening situation from a situation that isn’t at all life threatening. I find that before I even step into the made up “life threatening” situation, my brain is already preparing my body to fight or flight! That’s when your anxiety spirals. Before any situation occurs, your body is preparing to defend itself. Thoughts may fly through your mind about all the reasons you may want to opt for the “flight” option, but then you may feel guilty about doing that. So you consider the “fight” option, but it’s so painful, so you’re back to square one. Though this sounds troubling, all is not lost! Over the years I’ve learned how to cope with my anxiety and I’m excited to share them.  

Philosophical Meditation 

      According to the School of Life, Philosophical Mediation is the act of thinking through the things you are anxious about. Are you afraid of missing your flight? Think about if  you actually did miss your flight?  What would your plan be? Would it be the end of the world? Probably not. This western style of meditation focuses on creating solutions to the problems you've created in your mind. 

Listen to Loud Music 

      Don't blow your eardrums out, but listening to music at louder volumes has been proven in a few studies to relax you. Try turning up your tunes and tuning out the world.

    Manage Your Emotions

Go ahead and accept the fact that you cannot control your anxiety. You can't command it to stop when you get frustrated and you can't tell it to roll over or play dead. Anxiety doesn't work that way. Instead of fighting so hard to stop your anxiety, learn to regulate it. Learn little ways that you can manage your anxiety when you feel it coming on strong. I like to rationalize what I'm being anxious about. Force your fears into the lime light and call into question whether it's actually work freaking out over. Once I've zeroed in on what I'm actually afraid of, I quickly learn that it isn't rational at all. From there, I counsel myself using logic and rational. "Okay, I'm afraid of X, but in reality..." "If X does happen, then Y is the plan for getting past it." Don't try to fight away how you feel. Instead, take a second to confront your feelings. Bad things WILL happen, but think about your plan when they do. It's a fruitless task to be constantly in fear of bad things. 

Don’t Beat Yourself Up 

I've been reading an excellent book called F*ck Feelings by Sarah and Michael Bennett. The book provides practical, brutally honest advice on how to deal with your anxiety. One key piece of advice the book provides is don’t be upset with yourself if you get too anxious to do something, just accept what you can’t control and manage what you can. If you allow your anxiety to get the better of you and it causes you to behave in a way contrary to the way you prefer, don't become guilty or usept with yourself. Forgive yourself and make a note to be more careful next time. Self-destruction is a wicked cycle. You do something wrong, then you beat yourself up, then you become more anxious/depressed, then you do something wrong again. The cycle continues. End the cycle and make a point to give yourself a break.

Understand Your Anxiety but Don’t Try to Find Its Origins or Roots 

jj    As F*ck Your Feelings so eloquently states, do NOT try to go rooting around in your childhood, subconscious or heart and soul to figure out where you anxiety is coming from. It's a pointless way to avoid dealing with the problem. However you got it doesn't matter so much, all that matter is that you have anxiety right now and need to deal with it. Instead, try to figure out what it is your afraid of and how you can deal with it. 

I have pretty severe anxiety according to my doctors and these tips have been so incredibly life changing! I know they can be for you too. Just remember not to take life too seriously. Have fun and reward yourself when you rationalize your fears or manage your anxiety in scary situations.